Quincy Wonderland
by Aceidia
Summary: What if… Szayel and Mayuri discovered the Wanderreich? What are two scientists to do with this wonderful discovery? One Shot. No Pairings, just laughter.


Szayelaporro Granz felt tears creep into the corners of his eyes as he stared down the at the mash of guts on his examination table. The poor Qunicy was dead…

_And what was worse,_ Mayuri Kurotsuchi thought sadly, staring at the last little pinky toe that remained.

It was the last Quincy in sight.

No more existed.

At all.

None of my research will be complete! Mayuri finally let himself cry as he wandered to his daughter's room where he knew a welcome shoulder awaited.

_And my life purpose is over! If I cannot research these interesting creatures, I will sit in my room and cry._ Szayel promised himself, shutting the door to his place, a state of depression looming over him like a cloud. If only there were more….

"Quinicies?" Myuri stared at the weird Butterfly Hollow, a smile creeping onto his face. To think he was sent here to assist in Inoue's rescue and stumbled across this…other scientist. "You studied Quincies too?"

"Yes…" Szayel laughed, pleased to find someone who had something in common with himself. Although, looks were not one of them. "I did. Until…"

"That day…" Mayuri's heart went out to his fellow scientist.

"When the last one died…"

"Well…" Mayuri glanced over his shoulder at Uryu Ishida who was already standing up. "There is one more…."

Szayel gasped. This could be the key to… to… everything! "Where?!"

"AHHHH!" Uryu screamed, as he ran for his life which very well end in the hands of the Eighth Espada or that of the Twelfth Company Captain who were hot on his tail. "AHHH! I thought you were here to save me!"

"Oh well, Quincy…" Mayuri was not going to let all of his years of research go to waste. "I came to save Abari. Not you. Besides, you are already my research subject."

Szayel held out his hand to stop Mayuri in his tracks before he began to run after Uryu Ishida. "Don't bother, my... New friend. Best friend… In the world…"

He held up the small doll in his hands and opened the top of it to reveal all of the pieces inside. "I'll take care of this." He picked out the small Achilles tendons.

"AHH!" A distant scream was heard and two scientist became friends.

* * *

Szayel could not believe his eyes.

Mayuri stared into space… speechless…

The Wanderreich had set up camp right under their noses!

They hit the Mother Load!

"And so…. "This is what Soul Society sent us to get rid of..." Szayel whispered, not finding it himself to speak yet.

"Yes." Mayuri was rather glad that Soul Society decided to let him add the Espada to his company. "And we are so luck to have stumbled across a…"

The two shared a gleaming smile. "Shit load of Quincies!"

"And how shall we go about…." Szayel drew his sword that always hung at his side. "Gathering research subjects?"

"No Bankai." Mayuri instructed, pointing to Szayel's sword. "We don't need it to collect Quinicies."

"Then what do we need?"

"Something simple…. People are always so stupid…" Mayuri set down the backpack he was wearing and pulled out a large metal air canister. And another… and another…. And another…

Szayel watched him pull at least two hundred of these large metal canisters out of his space defying bag before pulling out two masks.

"I want you to open the sky passage, whatever it is called." Mayuri ordered as he connected all of the canisters with a thin clear tube. "And then, put your mask on.

"All right…" Szayel reached and hand out and drew a slit in the sky next to him. "But what are you doing? Is that Quinicy poison?"

"Nah… Don't need any of that hard to make stuff…"

"Then what is it? Will it kill all the hollows as well?"

Mayuri shook his head. "You are already dead, Glasses."

"True…" Szayel stepped inside the gateway he created and put the mask on. Mayuri joined him in a few minutes, mask on his face as well and in his hand was a small tube. The same on connected to all of the canisters.

"Now…" The Captain grinned, "Close the gateway as much as possible. We don't want any of this getting in here…"

Szayel nodded and did as he was told. "But what are we using?"

"Shhh…" Mayuri reached into his pocket and pulled out a small remote. "Wait for it…"

He pressed a button and the sound of a loud gas leak was heard as what ever air was in the canisters filtered into Heuco Mundo.

"Oh…" Szayel laughed, realizing what it was. "You are a genius…No one will ever know they are slowly being poisoned by Carbon Monoxide."

"Yes, yes… We just want to put them to sleep and then… we go in and take them all back to Soul Society."

So, that is what they did.

* * *

"And…" Byakuya eyed the two suspiciously the next day. "Where is the Quincy ring leader? He needs to stand trial today."

"Well…" Mayuri began from the other side of Byakuya's desk.

"He might not be able to stand…" Szayel finished, wondering for a moment if they shouldn't have dove into their research so quickly "Because, we…kind of took his legs for…"

Byakuya put his head in his hands.

"Research."

He sighed and dared to asked. "And the others that you collected?"

Szayel and Mayuri shared a look. "Well…"

So, all the pieces they could find of Quincies stood trial and were sentenced to be chopped up farther.

* * *

Author's note: This story came to me when I was writing a Chapter in The New Order of Espadas. I really wonder if Szayel and Mayuri had stumbled across the (Wander) Unsichtbarreich. (Unsicht being the word for Invisible in actual German.) This story is a one-shot, so I hope you enjoyed.


End file.
